Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
