they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
