My first STD was from a foam party
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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