i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
