It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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