I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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