we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
