The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
