Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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