Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
