Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
3 2 1 whiskey
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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