Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
