Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have fence marks all over my body
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