it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
