i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
