Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
