never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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