How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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