i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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