they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
