Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize