she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
