How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Operation Purity has been aborted
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
