I never want to see another naked old woman again.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
