if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Terrible idea I love it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
