Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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