You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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