carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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