This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
