We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
