Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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