i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
