I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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