I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
