weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
