Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Duck Duck Cougar?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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