Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
a search helicopter?!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Even my vagina gasped.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize