pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
