i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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