I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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