If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This baby is an asshole
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
