weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
