in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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