Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
