but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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