I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
