Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize