Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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