I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i out mim tonsoeep
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
