it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
