Small penises have feelings too.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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