We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
