I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
