who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize