Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
