Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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