just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh god it's open bar.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
