Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
