i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
