My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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