The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
