oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
