You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
