I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize