This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
