im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
