Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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