I just saw a hot homeless man
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
