I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
