All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize