would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize