I puked a lego.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
