Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
